


Shrek's 2015 School Year (March-June)

by ermayzing



Series: The Shrek Chronicles [9]
Category: Shrek Series
Genre: Albus Dumbledore's 99ft Beard, Dancing, Don't worry though, Gen, Graduation, Happy Ending, Onion Crafting School, it's not ogre, rapping, this was the last fanfic i wrote that school year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 09:40:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5370596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ermayzing/pseuds/ermayzing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is Shrek's graduation day. All of his friends are here. Kanye raps with him, Albus dances for him, and all of his friends congratulate him as he graduates from Onion Crafting School.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shrek's 2015 School Year (March-June)

**Author's Note:**

> written on June 1, 2015.

 

Shrek walked into the classroom full of people, taking a deep breath. Today was the day. He was finally going to graduate, after 900 years. He scanned the room, looking for his friends, before taking a gaping bite out of his onion.

“Shrek!”

Turning, Shrek sees the head Brogre, Ay-Ay-Ron. He smiles, and says a hello. “Where are all the others?” Shrek asks in his thick Scottish accent.

“They’re here. They’re just hiding. I’m sure they’re nervous to meet you. It’s not every day you get to meet the Ogrelord himself.”

Shrek blushed a deep emerald, and laughed awkwardly.

Ay-Ay-Ron guided him through the crowd of students. The room was packed full of students, all chattering loudly. Many of them were loyal Brogres. As he walked, he noticed a few familiar faces.

Albus Dumbledore, Shrek’s love. Yes, you probably saw it coming. Shrek and Albus had been together for the past 500 years. Albus took up the position of Shrek’s “extra layer” roughly 300 years ago, and ever since, they had been inseparable. Albus had already graduated long, long ago in wizarding school, but he was here to offer moral support to the ogre.

Kanye West was also present. Ah, yes, dear Kanye. Shrek released a mixtape with him a while ago. Kanye had been the one to train Shrek in the field of rapping, as well as fashion. Since he met Kanye, there hasn’t been a day that Shrek hasn’t worn some type of “bling” to compliment his Ogre Swag. Kanye was also here for support. And, don’t tell him, but Shrek is hoping Kanye will get up and give a complimentary rap when Shrek walks the stage. Or, if he’s lucky, he might even get up there and have a little rap battle with him.

Shrek passed more of his friends. Chiang Kai-Shek, Burt the turtle… even the Rare Pepe was here. He was a newer friend to Shrek, but nonetheless, he was a dear friend.

Ay-Ay-Ron and Shrek finally arrived at the group. Countless Brogres were there. Ay-Ay-Ron introduced them one by one.

“Shrek, meet the Brogre Cluster. This is Mai, Ms. Wolownik, River, Cassie, Felix, and of course, I am Ay-Ay-Ron.”

Shrek smiled a big ogre smile. “I’m honored,” he said.

The flow of conversation was soon interrupted by the clinking of a glass.

“Attention everyone! I would like to propose a toast, to the one and only, Shrek.”

Looking around, Shrek spotted Albus on a nearby table, joined by his other colleagues. “Guys… I’m so glad you could make it, thank you.”

Everyone applauded, making Shrek feel like a loved Ogre. Rare Pepe came up and shook his hand, Kanye whispered some rap lyrics in his ear, Chiang bowed, Burt came out of his shell for once, and Albus whipped his beard in a circle with excitement, yelling, “I WHIP MY BEARD BACK AND FORTH.”

The Brogres all got autographs, and it was a wonderful time. Soon, it was time for the ceremony.

“Everyone! Everyone! It’s time. Please take your seats,” everyone did, “and I would like to invite the one and only Shrek up to the podium.”

Shrek made his way up on the stage, and there were tears in his brown ogre eyes. “Thank you all, so much. I wouldn’t have been able to finish this year without you all. I’ve been informed that a few people, namely Albus Dumbledore, would like to say some words. Therefore, please let me welcome Mr. Albus Dumbledore up here.”

Albus smiled at Shrek as he stood there. “Shrek is truly one of a kind. Without him, I would have never experienced the taste of an onion in my life. He has brought so much into my life, and I am thankful. To see him here today brings a tear to my wizarding eye. I’ve lived to see many eras, but this is by far the best one. I look forward to a world that is run by this wonderful ogre. The Ogrelord will reign. I’m so proud of you, Shrek,” he finished. Everyone had tears in their eyes as Dumbledore exited the stage.

Shrek stood once more. “Thank you, Albus. This next part is a bit impromptu, but I would like to now invite my good friend Kanye West up. Kanye, will you rap with me?”

Kanye grinned and stood, saying, “Shrek, of course.”

The lights dimmed as the beats began. Disco balls dropped from the ceiling as Kanye and Shrek both put in their grills. Kanye went first.

“AIGHT SHREK. LEMME DO DIS.

_WELL I WAS CHILLIN IN DA SWAMP, WIT MY GOOD FRIEND SHREK_

_HE’S A VERY COOL OGRE, RAD AS HECK._

_HE WALKED OUT HIS OUT AND HANDED ME A HUGE ONION_

_I SAID DIDDLY DARN SHREK THAT’S BIGGER THAN PAUL BUNYON._

_HE SAID YE YE KANYE I BOUGHT IT JUST FO YOU_

_I HAD TEARS IN MY EYES AS I SAID THANK YOU_.”

Applause rang out as Kanye finished his verse. Up next was Shrek.

“KANYE THAT WAS SOME GOOD FLOW, LEMME TOP DAT.

_AY. AY. I WALKED INTO THE MANSION IN WHICH KANYE WAS STAYIN’_

_I CALLED OUT TO KANYE, I SAID AY MAN WHATCHU PLAYIN_

_HE WAS ON HIS XBOX BUILDIN’ HOUSES ON MINECRAFT_

_AND HE SAID I’M PLAYIN XBOX BRO DON’T BE SO DAFT._

_SO I YELLED SWAMP SWAMP SWAMP_

_AND HE YELLED SWAMP SWAMP SWAMP_

_AND I YELLED SWAMP SWAMP SWAMP_

_AND HE YELLED SWAMP SWAMP SWAMP._

_THEN I PULLED OUT AN ONION AND STARTED TO PEEL IT_

_KANYE HUGGED ME, AND IN MY HEART I COULD FEEL IT_

_THAT’S BEST FRIENDS RIGHT THERE, THAT’S WHAT WE WERE_

_AND IF BEST FRIENDS IS AN ILLNESS, I DON’T WANT A CURE_.”

Shrek ended the battle with tears in his eyes. Kanye and Shrek embraced each other as they cried together.

“That was beautiful, Shrek… I didn’t know you could rap with such… such… _feeling_. Not even I can do that…”

They broke away from the hug and smiled at each other. Kanye went back to his seat as Shrek went back to the podium, and many crying audience members applauded.

The ceremony went on, and it was grand. Finally, the end of the night had come, and it was time to hand Shrek his diploma.

As Shrek accepted the paper, he cried. He shed tears. He shed layers. This was a moment. The Brogres hooted and cheered, as Shrek’s group of friends whooped and hollered, congratulating the ogre.

This is the moment he had worked towards for over 900 years. This was it. He made it, finally.

“I passed,” Shrek whispered to himself. Just saying that felt foreign to him. Everything he had ever dreamed of was finally within his reach.

Shrek had finally passed.

He had passed.

_He had passed_.

Looking back, it wasn’t as hard as he had expected. But, still, it was something to be proud of. He still couldn’t believe it. He was so happy.

He had finally graduated from Onion Crafting School.


End file.
